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© Philip Strafford 2007 |
‘Gayham’ is infamously known throughout Yorkshire as the lycra clad mincing pensioner. Born on a council estate in Barsnley to Dickie and Gayvina Bladder, Gayham grew up to be a fine mincing old Gay. He has a small family that pop up now and again at various events in Sheffield, his sister Gaynor is a waitress come part time prostitute. She sells herself on the M1 while Gayham prefers to prostitute his arse more locally on the A616. Gaynor has a daughter Gayle, Gayle is a club whore and regularly be seen at various nightclubs around Sheffield slutting herself around, wearing nothing more than her underwear. She makes bizarre random noises and likes to give her uncle Gayham a beating from time to time. Gayham also has an Aunt Thelma who has some strange form of turrets, she will randomly say the word ‘Whay’ in between sentences. Gayham himself has long been on the gay scene, however he thinks it is not gay enough anymore and they should bring back dirty underground car park butt clubs, like in the good old days. Gayham would like to see repression brought back to the gays so they go to places like the town bogs and bus terminal toilets for cock. He believes there are too many fancy bars for gays now and too much freedom. Being an old mincer on the scene he has starred in many porn movies such as ‘Cock in Barnsley’ ‘Scat Eating in Scarborough’ and ‘Rimming in Wakefield’. Gayham lives in a house in Oughtibridge Sheffield and has a council bed-sit in Leeds. Gayham became infamous throughout Sheffield when he worked for the underground car park hovel of a gay night club ‘Fuel’. There he minced and danced for all his lycra clad bottom could handle. Some of the most shocking and memorable moments were; when he dragged a frozen chicken around on a lead, he once dressed up for 70’s night as Peter Sutcliffe, he read Tarot cards on Valentines day Gayle got on a bus to Chesterfield, Gaynor dressed and gave all the sinners holy communion and told everyone to ‘Let Jesus fuck you’. Gayham parted from the club as he found them to be unpleasantly homosexual. He can still be see at various clubs in Sheffield although not as much as before, he also performs stand up comedy at a comedy club in Sheffield. Is there anything this mincer can’t do? He has been filmed by Channel 4, BBC 3 and appeared in the local press, what next for this old queen, world domination? |
All characters on this website are fictitious. Any similarity between these characters and any living person is purely coincidental. |
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